What is my life? My solitude? The determination to be lucid and quiet and to wait, and to nourish the unspeakable hope of deep love which is beyong analysis and is so far down it has no voice left. One thing I must admit: a failure of lucidity in regard to love. It is so easy to assume that love is somehow a solution to a problem. Like: Life is problem which is impossible until someone comes along that you in love. Or man is himself a problem, solved by love. Love is a key to a hidden answer in us. And so on. But is this ture? Or is it only what everybody wants to be true? Supposing it is not true, does it make any difference? Maybe love, like everyting eles, is in large measure absurd. I don't declare this, but just admit it is a distinct possibility. Does love too have to make perfect sense? In what way does it have to? by Thomas Merton [The Journals of Thomas Merton: Learning to Love Vol 6: 1966-1967] (He is my beloved favourite writer) I cannot talk, I cannot help, I can do nothing. I had surrendered long ago because i surrender easy... The sense of disaster and helplessness fufill my heart. And one must say it is all right? It is absurd. There is no clear answer to it. I am nobody's anwer, not even my own.
主耶穌背上十字架死了。 一切的事似乎己成定局。 祂的應許不能實現了。 直到主耶穌復活之後,門徙才醒悟耶穌果真是彌賽亞。 世界上沒有任何事物能使我們與上帝的愛隔絕。 背上十字架的苦痛絕不是最後答案。 I have given up trying to understand it.When it began, I knew it could not be understood. There is nothing understandable in it. Just joy and then sorrow and then if you are lucky...more joy...then...meaningless. The real desert is this: to face the real limitations of one's own existence and knowledge and not try to manipulate them. This is my Christian belief at 24years old. My life is not only about busying in different kind of works (no matter in church or work) but also about experiencing and walking on the road that God plans for me. Not to deny, Just face it with courage. |